


Geodesic Dual Danger Mysteries

by MrJoCrafter



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Mystery, chat fic, chatlog format, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrJoCrafter/pseuds/MrJoCrafter
Summary: A detective has compiled chatlogs from two Discord servers owned by two different groups of friends.Why? To unravel a strange and horrible occurrence that occurred to these eleven unfortunate souls.What's the mystery? Well, you'll have to find out.
Relationships: Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Establishing Character Moment(s)

To whom it may concern,

The following is the written record of my investigation into these troubling events.

This includes several relevant chatlogs (although the relevance of some may be questionable, we erred on the side of including as much as was necessary) from two Discord servers, multiple images, and several audio recordings that provide evidence that might help us make sense of the mess.

Most of this evidence was helpfully gathered by my younger brother Karl Lightman, so thanks go to him that we even have some leads on this case.

Signed,

Senior Detective X. Lightman

[Chatlog / The Gutter Rats]

EarthWindFire: I’m curious about something @everyone

Camikat: OwO?

EarthWindFire: What’s y’all’s favorite shows.

EarthWindFire: and why

EarthWindFire: wrong answers only

Camikat: You start, CJ~

EarthWindFire: okay fine

EarthWindFire: my favorite show is Once Upon A Time

EarthWindFire: because

EarthWindFire: it’s complex in a way that appeals to me specifically

EarthWindFire: and the characters are compelling.

RosswoodMac: who the fuck pinged me

RosswoodMac: oh

Camikat: My favowite show is Mirai Nikki owo

RosswoodMac: what kind of bs are yall watching nowadays

EarthWindFire: and why?

Camikat: Let me think~

RosswoodMac: my favorite show is south park because its fucking funny

M4r13tj13: Liking south park isnt a personality

M4r13tj13: Hold up scratch that.

M4r13tj13: Its ur personality exactly

M4r13tj13: B as offensive as possible to see how far u can go and how ppl react

RosswoodMac: bitch you arent a fuckin psychiatrist

M4r13tj13: Bite me m8

M4r13tj13: Anyway camelia has been typing for five minutes should we be concerned

EarthWindFire: Let her finish.

Camikat: i just really like the way it bwings out the dolor’ de la koro. the whole arc of Yuno’s character is satisfying to me~ I really like all of the characters but especially her uwu

M4r13tj13: Now im definitely concerned

Camikat: owoat could you mean mariel~

M4r13tj13: Nvm

M4r13tj13: My favorite is Memories of Phantasm if only because there isnt an official touhou anime

Amisi: Let me think

Amisi: I like one with burly men and very angry vampire.

M4r13tj13: Youll have to be more specific

Amisi: I do not remember what show is called in English.

EarthWindFire: did you mean

EarthWindFire: JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure?!

Amisi: Yes that one. I like it very much.

Camikat: ‘burly men and very angry vampire’ andoawundaiwjdnwkldjbn

[Chatlog / Bee’s Hive (Wasps Only)]

AceSpades: This server is dreadfully inactive.

AceSpades: @everyone

terminallyContagious: Why.

NoTalkMeIAngy: It’s SEVEN A.M. Ace.

AceSpades: Here is a fun idea.

AceSpades: What is your favorite anime, everyone?

NoTalkMeIAngy: what kind of question is THAT?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Steven Universe?

AceSpades: That is not an anime.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Thenceforth, I do refuse to participate in this trivium.

terminallyContagious: is ‘thenceforth’ even a word?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: That, my wonderfully degenerate friend, is something you must find out for yourself.

terminallyContagious: wow what a polite way to say fuck you.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: >;)

StarShatters: what are we talking about

NoTalkMeIAngy: did you JUST NOW wake up NOAH?

StarShatters: immediate aggression from caroline

NoTalkMeIAngy: call me caroline again and I will BREAK your BONES.

StarShatters: okay!!!!

AceSpades: @StarShatters we are each listing our favorite anime, although Theo decided they were too good for it

StarShatters: mine is bnha

NoTalkMeIAngy: basic bitch

NoTalkMeIAngy: mine is evangelion.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: sis

ThrowingAwayMyShot: I know you have an almost omnipresent hypocrisy streak.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: But you somehow managed to outdo your past shadows in terms of hypocrisy in the space of five measly words.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Well done.

NoTalkMeIAngy: SHUT THE FUCK UP THEODORE

terminallyContagious: ouch you need some burn cream there

terminallyContagious: anyway my favorite anime is Ninjago

StarShatters: what

AceSpaces: the

NoTalkMeIAngy: FUCK

terminallyContagious: Not joking or exaggerating.

AceSpades: This is why no one likes you, Jo.

StarShatters: no let him explain himself

terminallyContagious: It’s produced in Denmark, and is dubbed to wide release elsewhere. The voice actors on it mostly do anime dubbing anyway, and it stylistically and tropewise resembles most shonen anime.

NoTalkMeIAngy: WORST take I have ever seen let me go die rq

terminallyContagious: @AceSpades you haven’t contributed to the discussion you started.

AceSpades: Neither has @DetectiveProfessorK.

terminallyContagious: Stop dodging the question you asked.

AceSpades: Fine. My favorite is Love Live.

terminallyContagious: wh-

NoTalkMeIAngy: degenerate

StarShatters: for once I agree with her

NoTalkMeIAngy: fuck you too noah

DetectiveProfessorK: Why Was I Pinged Twice.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: As always, our night-owl true crime slut cannot be bothered to backread. Absolutely wonderful.

DetectiveProfessorK: Oh. I Did Not Read Up. My Favorite Anime Is Death Note, and Please Do Not Ping Me Like That I See The Messages.

NoTalkMeIAngy: God every SINGLE message he sends gives me whiplash but it also makes me read it in his FUCKING VOICE.

[Chatlog / The Gutter Rats]

RosswoodMac: hey fuckups

RosswoodMac: look at this shit

RosswoodMac: [Image of a parked car, with an odd pink-and-green paint job including hearts and other odd abstract drawings]

RosswoodMac: uglass fucking car

RosswoodMac: im finna key it

Camikat: Raŭso I swear to god.

RosswoodMac: bitch

RosswoodMac: i dont remember asking you shit ya pink haired ninny

Camikat: That is my fucking car.

M4r13tj13: What

RosswoodMac: LMFAO

RosswoodMac: that whole ass car looks like an acid trip

RosswoodMac: and why the fuck are you in preppyfuckborhood

Camikat: None of your fuwucking business uwu~

RosswoodMac: ok ima key it now

Camikat: You will find youwself dead in a ditch such that the powoice will not be able to identify youw bowody uwu

M4r13tj13: Jesus christ cami calm the fuck down

RosswoodMac: i was just fucking with you cami i love ya

Camikat: ~owokiedokie!~

EarthWindFire: I…

EarthWindFire: What possessed you

EarthWindFire: to think

EarthWindFire: that that paint job

EarthWindFire: looked good, at all?

RosswoodMac: beats me maybe she was off some jeff shit

Amisi: @Camikat that horrendous art would get you shot in motherland

[Chatlog / Bee’s Hive (Wasps Only)]

AceSpades: New name time.

terminallyContagious: Not this shit again

AceSpades: Suggestions?

terminallyContagious: Box of Screaming Cats?

AceSpades: No.

NoTalkMeIAngy: five WEEBS and a fucking PIG

AceSpades: Perfect.

>@AceSpades has changed the server name to Five Weebs and a Pig

StarShatters: ndoawudnawkdjnawdkljbawd!!!

terminallyContagious: idk maybe JANTCK?

NoTalkMeIAngy: the FUCK

AceSpades: Is that supposed to be a RWBY team name or something?

terminallyContagious: Yeah.

terminallyContagious: (J)onathan Kretz (A)cerola Spades (N)oah Starbury (T)heodore Hill (C)aroline Hill (K)arl Lightman

NoTalkMeIAngy: If you’re going to be EXTRA, at least do it CORRECTLY

NoTalkMeIAngy: Also you made YOURSELF the leader.

NoTalkMeIAngy: Like uhh

NoTalkMeIAngy: SLACKT

NoTalkMeIAngy: Noah (S)tarbury, Karl (L)ightman, (A)cerola Spades, (C)aroline Hill, Jonathan (K)retz, (T)heodore Hill

StarShatters: you made me the leader?!!!

StarShatters: how sweet!!

NoTalkMeIAngy: DIE IN A WHOLE

>@AceSpades has **muted** @NoTalkMeIAngy for **60 minutes** : quit being a bitch

AceSpades: Enough of that for a while.

StarShatters: aw she was about to admit her feelings

AceSpades: Do not push her please, she can still read the chat.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: While my absolutely wonderful sister is silenced by the austentatious use of administrator priviledges,

ThrowingAwayMyShot: I would like to postulate that both of you were, in truth, dramatically missing the point.

terminallyContagious: how so?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: I have only watched the series a few times, but this much is clear to me; the names of chracters and teams are precisely crafted to evoke a chromatic postulation.

StarShatters: sorry my theo-to-english software is broke today

terminallyContagious: I think they’re trying to say it’s supposed to be a color or make you think of a color.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Precisely.

terminallyContagious: But what would you suggest, Theo?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Hmm…

ThrowingAwayMyShot: ALKCNT (pronounced ‘ablicant’)

ThrowingAwayMyShot: (A)cerola Spades, Karl (L)ightman, Jonathan (K)retz, (C)aroline Hill, (N)oah Starbury, (T)heo Hill

terminallyContagious: Ablicant?

AceSpades: Google says “ **albicant** (not comparable) (rare) Growing or becoming white.”

ThowingAwayMyShot: It fulfills all the requirements. It is evocative of a color, it has the leader’s name word-initially, and it sounds cool.

terminallyContagious: Yeah I like that.

StarShatters: that is hype

DetectiveProfessorK: Did I Miss Something?

DetectiveProfessorK: Why Is the Server Now Called “Five Weebs and a Pig”

DetectiveProfessorK: I Would Assume That I Am The “Pig”?

terminallyContagious: ig that matches up with kara’s humor

DetectiveProfessorK: Did We Not Just Eight Hours Ago Have the Favorite Anime Conversation Where I Mentioned That My Favorite Anime Is Death Note.

terminallyContagious: lmfao is her memory that shortterm

NoTalkMeIAngy: do NOT subtweet me I AM RIGHT HERE

terminallyContagious: sorry

StarShatters: this isn’t twitter?!!!!! tf?!!!

NoTalkMeIAngy: grrr

StarShatters: …did you just growl at me through text?

AceSpades: @NoTalkMeIAngy calm down or the next click I make is a kick.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Poetry.

NoTalkMeIAngy: Okay FINE.


	2. Incredibly Lame Pun

[Direct Message / Noah Starbury (StarShatters) > Caroline Hill (NoTalkMeIAngy)]

StarShatters: hey kara are you actually mad at me

NoTalkMeIAngy: what

NoTalkMeIAngy: No not REALLY

NoTalkMeIAngy: Jo and Theo are just being PISSBABIES and I got made at you by association

StarShatters: okay thank you for almost apologizing

StarShatters: although honestly you should expect that from theo you’ve been around them for five times longer than the rest of us

StarShatters: and jo’s just like that

NoTalkMeIAngy: honestly I thought that Theo was only a DRAMATIC BITCH around me until I realized that’s just HOW THEY TALK

StarShatters: i have never been so sufficiently fucked up by an insult except from them

StarShatters: and it was after i googled like five words to figure out exactly how far id been rekt

NoTalkMeIAngy: I took to carrying around a DAMN THESAURUS.

StarShatters: maybe i should too

NoTalkMeIAngy: lmfao

StarShatters: hold on what the fuck

StarShatters: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

NoTalkMeIAngy: what WHAT HAPPENED NOAH

StarShatters: hold on ill take this to the server

NoTalkMeIAngy: damn I guess you don’t TRUST me then.

(Note: If You Are Wondering How I Managed To Obtain Direct Message Transcripts; Do Not Worry About It the Answer Will Disappoint You – Karl Lightman)

[Chatlog / Five Weebs and a Pig]

StarShatters: so the weirdest fucking thing happened

StarShatters: there is a letter on my front doorstep

terminallyContagious: Contrary to popular belief, corporations and institutions do in fact still send snail-mail in the year of our lord twenty twenty-one.

terminallyContagious: god I’m talking like Theo now.

StarShatters: no okay so

StarShatters: its not spam mail

StarShatters: my name is written on it in this pretty handwriting

StarShatters: look [Image of a letter in Noah’s hand. On it is written “For Noah S. Starbury <3” in calligraphic handwriting, appearing to have been written using a pink-ink pen.]

terminallyContagious: Well. That is strange.

NoTalkMeIAngy: what the FUCK noah

NoTalkMeIAngy: wait there’s a HEART on it is it a LOVE letter

AceSpades: Are you jealous?

NoTalkMeIAngy: ACEROLA SPADES YOUR INSINUATION IS STUPID

NoTalkMeIAngy: I was just CURIOUS.

terminallyContagious: @StarShatters open it.

StarShatters: alright i will

StarShatters: HEY WHAT THE FUCK

terminallyContagious: what does it say

AceSpades: What does it say?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: A love letter? How ingtrigueifying!

terminallyContagious: @AceSpades jinx

NoTalkMeIAngy: “How ingtrigueifying!”? you’re just MAKING UP WORDS at this point!

ThrowingAwayMyShot: @NoTalkMeIAngy all words that we in America, especially, use in the zeitgeist of today, were neologisms at one point or another. That utterance was certainly dropped upon most words in current parlance.

terminallyContagious: quiet, Shakespeare, I want to see what this letter says.

StarShatters: okay holy shit

StarShatters: [Image of a handwritten letter, on fancy stationery. The words are written in the same handwriting style and color as the address on the front. It reads:

_It’s been quite the journey, my love._

_I hope new horizons are finding you well._

_I haven’t been in contact for some time but_

_you should know that you are still my raison d'être._

_I still haven’t forgotten._

_Love you lots,_

_Your Not-So Secret Admirer_

_P.S. A bientôt, mon amour <3_

]

AceSpades: aww thats sweet

terminallyContagious: That is? Really fucking creepy?

StarShatters: i dont know what to think about it honestly

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Oh, I know.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: ~Every breath you take / Every move you make~

NoTalkMeIAngy: Every bond you break, every step you take

ThrowingAwayMyShot: ~I’ll be watching you~

NoTalkMeIAngy: Every move you make, every vow you break

ThrowingAwayMyShot: ~Every smile you fake / Every claim you stake~

NoTalkMeIAngy: I’ll be watching you…

AceSpades: Guys cut it out.

terminallyContagious: aw man that kinda Stings

>@AceSpades has **muted** @terminallyContagious for **120 minutes** : no.

AceSpades: Man you should be glad you get love letters at all @StarShatters whoever wrote this clearly cares a lot about you.

StarShatters: yeah but

StarShatters: it makes absolutely no sense

StarShatters: “i havent forgotten” and “i havent been in contact for some time” kinda implies its someone who knew me in the past

StarShatters: but i legit do not know who that i have ever met would be (a) this melodramatic (b) such a hopeless romantic jesus christ calm down and (c) go to the effort to mail me a handwritten letter

AceSpades: You are a lucky bastard is what it means.

DetectiveProfessorK: Hold On.

AceSpades: He speaks?

DetectiveProfessorK: @StarShatters You Did Say “Mail Me a Letter” Right

DetectiveProfessorK: But How Can That Letter Have Been Mailed; There Is No Postage Stamp On It.

DetectiveProfessorK: Someone Physically Delivered That To Your Front Door.

StarShatters: oh fuck

NoTalkMeIAngy: Even CREEPIER wow.

NoTalkMyIAngy: NOAH you should call the POLICE.

StarShatters: huh?

AceSpades: But why?

DetectiveProfessorK: I Am Well Versed In Law; I Am Completely Certain Giving Someone a Letter Is Not a Criminal Offense.

NoTalkMeIAngy: PIG

DetectiveProfessorK: Oh Also.

DetectiveProfessorK: The French Phrase In the Post Script Reads Something Like “See You Later My Love” Or Maybe “I Will See You Sometime Soon My Love.”

StarShatters: thank you karl but i think i got the gist of it the first time reading thru

DetectiveProfessorK: I Thought I Would Say That In Case Someone Here Has No Knowledge of French.

StarShatters: i took two years at southside middle but i mostly ignored it

StarShatters: i still have something resembling knowledge of the language of romance

StarShatters: oh so thats why she(?) wrote in french

DetectiveProfessorK: Also I Have a Message For All of ALKCNT.

DetectiveProfessorK: This Weekend I Am Going To Be Going On a Training For Detective Work. I Will Not Be Available During This Time. If My Assistance Is Absolutely Required Please Call Me On My Phone.

NoTalkMeIAngy: Are we REALLY called ALKCNT now lmao

AceSpades: That is great @DetectiveProfessorK good luck!

StarShatters: good 4 u

DetectiveProfessorK: Thank You Friends and Caroline.

NoTalkMeIAngy: WOW.


	3. Curb-Stomp Battle

[Chatlog / The Gutter Rats]

RosswoodMac: ay @Amisi i need a solid

Amisi: I do not sell drugs, Ross.

RosswoodMac: gotdamn it

RosswoodMac: its an expression it means i need some help

Amisi: Yes. What do you need, comrade?

RosswoodMac: some preppy son of a hoe stole my damn headphones while i wasnt lookin at the 711

Amisi: Do you know address?

Amisi: Of guy who stole headphones

RosswoodMac: yeah its ███████ ███████ Street Apt. ███

Amisi: you fight well friend why do you think you need me as well

RosswoodMac: this guys got backup i need enough intimidation to scare him into giving it back before he calls his homies

Amisi: And you think Scary Russian Man is enough?

RosswoodMac: yeah lmao

RosswoodMac: i aint fixing to bring a glock into an issue over $5 headphones

Amisi: This calls for expository name change.

>@Amisi has changed their nickname to ударь твое лицо

M4r13tj13: I was going to say dont do that but I know you wont listen to me

M4r13tj13: @ударь твое лицо what does that mean

ударь твое лицо: @M4r13tj13 punch your face

M4r13t13: Lmfao

ударь твое лицо: I am getting in my car.

RosswoodMac: thanks amivrosiy i owe you one

ударь твое лицо: Justice is best served through single punch to jaw.

>@M4r13tj13 has changed their name to Mariel.

Camikat: @RosswoodMac hey would you mind if I tag along uwu

RosswoodMac: ik you can punch a bitch but what the hell are you gonna do with your dunkass watermelon-lookin car in preppyfuckborhood

RosswoodMac: the fuckups they call police would tow it just on principle

Camikat: who said anything about me driving lmao

RosswoodMac: why you hanging around the north side anyway

Camikat: nunya business uwu

Camikat: I’m heading that way.

RosswoodMac: okay dont fuck it up

[Chatlog / Five Weebs and a Pig]

terminallyContagious: not fucking cool Ace I just made a joke

AceSpades: You have been unmuted for like 13 hours at this point, Jo.

terminallyContagious: oh. I went to bed after I got pissed off lmao.

AceSpades: Anyway, I am going t

terminallyContagious: going to what

StarShatters: what happened to ace

StarShatters: @AceSpades wtf

terminallyContagious: He’s still online…

AceSpades: anlknlklnlllllallllllllllllllll

StarShatters: huh?!!!

>@ **RozkoloraKajVerda** joined the server.

NoTalkMeIAngy: literally WHO

>@AceSpades granted @RozkoloraKajVerda the role: admin

StarShatters: wait what the fuck

terminallyContagious: @RozkoloraKajVerda who are you?

RozkoloraKajVerda: ~Who aren’t I, uwu~

NoTalkMeIAngy: ONE message and I already hate this person.

StarShatters: @RozkoloraKajVerda what did you do to acerola or are you him playing a trick on us

RozkoloraKajVerda: Don’t wowwy, dear, Acerola is just sweeping fow a wittle wile~

terminallyContagious: he’s what now

>@RozkoloraKajVerda has changed the server name to | || || |_

terminallyContagious: Dead meme.

[Chatlog / The Gutter Rats]

Mariel: @Camikat @ударь твое лицо @RosswoodMac are you guys okay

Mariel: You all went offline at once

Camikat: we’we fine uwu~

ударь твое лицо: Ross got his headphones back, and no one was seriously injured.

Mariel: Define seriously

ударь твое лицо: Ross punched one guy in jaw, someone else probably broke his fingers trying to hit me.

Camikat: owo and I puwunched some dick who was twying to catcall me

Mariel: Oh damn

Mariel: What happened to him

Camikat: He went down in wone hit uwu

Camikat: What a simp uwu

Camikat: *wimp

Mariel: Aduawbdwabdkajbwljawndlawjdn

Camikat: abouwt to do something vewy dangewes

Mariel: What

Mariel: @Camikat you just beat the shit out of some dickwad what are you gonna do now

Mariel: Camelia Drapeau answer me right the fuck now

Mariel: @ударь твое лицо whatd she do

ударь твое лицо: Camelia just jumped out of Ross car while it was moving.

Mariel: I cant even be surprised at this point

EarthWindFire: Hold up

EarthWindFire: What

[Chatlog / | || || |_ ]

RozkoloraKajVerda: so… who is eweryone here?

terminallyContagious: nice try criminal scum

RozkoloraKajVerda: based on the incessant homestuck wefewences we can assume @terminallyContagious is Jonathan Kretz

terminallyContagious: wait what the fuck

RozkoloraKajVerda: @StarShatters is Noah Starbury, @ThrowingAwayMyShot is Theo Hill, @DetectiveProfessorK not a clue and @AceSpades is cuwwently knocked out

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Who, pray tell, is this wonderfully horrible person?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: oh fuck

>@RozkoloraKajVerda has **muted** @ThrowingAwayMyShot for **120 minutes**

RozkoloraKajVerda: ive heawd enough about them to know I don’t want to heaw any more

StarShatters: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!!!!!!!!!!!!

RozkoloraKajVerda: shhh~~

StarShatters: what the fuck

>@RozkoloraKajVerda has **muted** @StarShatters for **120 minutes** : watch the show~

RozkoloraKajVerda: so that leaves @NoTalkMeIAngy

NoTalkMeIAngy: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME BITCH?

RozkoloraKajVerda: you’re Caroline Hill, I assume?

NoTalkMeIAngy: WHAT

RozkoloraKajVerda: ah so my infowmation was cowwect

RozkoloraKajVerda: just so you know, Karolino…

RozkoloraKajVerda: you’re next.

> **@RozkoloraKajVerda** has left the server.

NoTalkMeIAngy: too SCARED to threaten me IN PERSON what a BITCH.

terminallyContagious: What the hell just happened?

terminallyContagious: Also can none of us unmute theo and noah

NoTalkMeIAngy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	4. Wall of Text

[Direct Message / Theo Hill (ThrowingAwayMyShot) > Marietjie Smith (Mariel)]

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Salutations, my aspiring thespian rival.

Mariel: Aspiring? Theo I beat your north side asses in the last three competitions

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Your assessment of our shared competitive record is intentionally disingenuous. Case in point: I did not attend two of the three contests you are referring to, and the third one was a fluke due to a horrific conflict of interest with the presiding judges.

Mariel: Its 2021 and you still listen to hamilton lmao

ThrowingAwayMyShot: What a bold proclamation, coming from someone living in such the metaphorical glass house as yourself, who decided upon a profile picture of a girl from Touhou Project.

Mariel: I will not have you disrespecting yuuka in my vicinity

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Nonetheless, I did not send contact for the purpose of battling with our digital pens, as entertaining and enjoyable as such an activity is.

Mariel: What do you need

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Have you any knowledge of a user known as @RozkoloraKajVerda#2414?

Mariel: Unfortunately for you no

Mariel: Although

Mariel: I know that that means “PinkAndGreen” in Esperanto

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Esperanto? What a truly interesting turn of events. I assumed the language in question was some obscure backwater Italian dialect.

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Regardless, thank you for what feeble attempt you could manage as for actually helping me out of my current predicament.

Mariel: Wow rude

Mariel: Wait what do you mean predicament

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Due to the sensitive nature of the events currently taking place, I will not inform you of the full details of the current happenings.

Mariel: Uh okay

Mariel: I look forward to kicking your ass at the next one act play theo

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Such an outcome only finds its home in the oddest dreams of a miscreant such as yourself.

[Chatlog / | || || |_ ]

AceSpades: goddman wth is hapnig

terminallyContagious: oh shit Ace you’re awake!

AceSpades: tf jsut hapen

AceSpades: I think I got knockd out or someth

terminallyContagious: Are you okay?

AceSpades: Yeah I think so. My head hurts like hell but I do not feel like I have a consussino or anyhting

terminallyContagious: can you unmute noah and theo

AceSpades: uh yeah

>@AceSpades **unmuted** @StarShatters

>@AceSpades **unmuted** @ThrowingAwayMyShot

StarShatters: thank you

AceSpades: Okay I backread and who the fuck was that.

terminallyContagious: no clue but they seemed to know a lot about us

NoTalkMeIAngy: don’t forget the STUPID fucking ‘uwu’ speak

terminallyContagious: yeah that creeped me the fuck out

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Fear not, friends, for I have asked around about this mysterious user!

StarShatters: whatd you get

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Apparently, the name means “Pink And Green” in the Esperanto language!

StarShatters: esperanto?

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Esperanto is a constructed language, invented by Polish-Jewish doctor Ludwig Lazer Zamenhof in the year eighteen eighty seven. The design philosophy was to create an auxiliary language that can be spoken by people with different mother tounges. It has, based on varying estimates, two million to ten million speakers worldwide. It even has about thirty thousand native speakers!

StarShatters: how do you type that fast

ThrowingAwayMyShot: Being the president of the drama club allows you access to eldritch forces the likeness of which man is not meant to know.

StarShatters: cant argue with that

AceSpades: Let us change the name away from loss.

>@AceSpades has changed the server name to The Server That Shall Not Be Named

NoTalkMeIAngy: goddamn HARRY POTTER FAN even worse than liking love live

StarShatters: ^

[Chatlog / The Gutter Rats]

>@Mariel has changed their nickname to Yuuka Kazami’s Wife

RosswoodMac: wtf @Yuuka Kazami’s Wife

Yuuka Kazami’s Wife: Some jackass decided to be disrespectful to her and im being a bitch right back

RosswoodMac: why

RosswoodMac: touhou is k and all but that name is no good

RosswoodMac: all yall are going apeshit lately

RosswoodMac: except amisi he a cool motherfucker

RosswoodMac: cami made me almost fuckin crash my van

RosswoodMac: CJ is CJ

RosswoodMac: and now this bullshit

RosswoodMac: mariel on her own shit

Camikat: you called uwu~

Yuuka Kazami’s Wife: Speak of the devil and she will appear

RosswoodMac: @Camikat fuck you

Yuuka Kazami’s Wife: @Camikat what were you thinking jumping out of ross’ car hes not a good driver anyway

RosswoodMac: fuck you im a better driver than you are

Camikat: I just had something ewse to attend to in the awea uwu~

RosswoodMac: you know i wouldve fuckin dropped you off right

Camikat: a girl’s gotta have her secwets uwu

Yuuka Kazami’s Wife: Wow what a non answer

RosswoodMac: whatever i aint fixing to have a few thousand out of my bank account over some dumb shit you pulled

RosswoodMac: yall dont need a getaway driver yall need a father figure in yalls life

Yuuka Kazami’s Wife: Lmao

Camikat: alwight i wont~~~


End file.
